Showing posts with label Things I Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things I Love. Show all posts

Traditional

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Christmas Eve is full of the anticipation, the waiting, the stories, the candles and lights.

Christmas morning is full of joy, excitement, crinkling of paper, hugs, and laughter.

After opening the presents on Christmas morning, the rest of Christmas Day has always felt a little anti-climatic. An emotional low after the gift-giving high. The presents are opened...now what.

Christmas this year didn't feel like that at all.

From our bedroom door being thrown open at 7 am by bright-eyed children, to the present opening, to the cinnamon smells from brunch, to setting up of marble tracks and watching of movies, to the smells of dinner, to the snowman building (and knocking over) in the backyard, to the stories and kisses at bedtime...the entire day felt like Christmas.

This Christmas had a similar feeling to when we watched the train moved away towards the west, carrying my mom and my little brother, who had come to help us move to Iowa. We felt, that truly for the first time, we were on our own.

This Christmas, it was up to us, and just us, to create those holiday memories for our boys. Memories like the ones we all have. Full of magic, and treats, and presents, and happiness.

This Christmas, we had to be the ones to create the traditions.

Opening one gift Christmas Eve...

Reading Night Before Christmas, My Penguin Osbert, The Crippled Lamb, and the Nativity story from the Bible...

Presents early Christmas morning...

Monkey bread, fruit, and juice for brunch after presents...

Games, movies, playing in the afternoon...

Brown sugar glazed ham with au gratin potatoes for dinner...

It's the first time for many of these things, but it still felt comfortable...and traditional.

When Monkey came in from playing in the snow, he hugged me around my legs and exclaimed, "I'm just so happy!"

That, combined with the joy on the boys' faces, and the feeling of happiness so palpable in our home, let us know that Christmas memories are well on their way.

Makes My Day

Monday, December 14, 2009

Gina, over at Namaste by Day, gave me the Happy 101 award.

This award, meant to be gifted to bloggers who make you smile, has two requirements.

1. List 10 things that make you happy
2. List 10 bloggers who brighten your day.

I'm not sure I've been the "brightening others' day" type of blogger lately, but nothing like a good award to get me back on my optimistic track.

Things That Make Me Happy...

1. Sleeping in. Any day that I don't wake up and have it still be pitch black outside is a great day. Even if it means that there is occasionally a little three year old snuggled next to me. Especially if there is a little three year old snuggled next to me.

2. PhotoShop: I don't have nearly enough time to spend doing this, but it is so satisfying to see some of my less than perfect pictures be transformed into living room wall worthy pictures. And being able to remove the evidence that I didn't wash faces prior to taking pictures is priceless.

3. Christmas: I don't think this one should actually be this far down on the list. Everything about Christmas is so contagious to me. The lights, the trees, the treats, the music. I'm pretty sure I'm the most obnoxious one as work with all my excitement.

4. My house: Even after having lived here for six months, I look around and am so incredibly happy that we have our own home, without downstairs neighbors, with space to put things. I love our house. With apartments, from the day we moved in to the moment we moved out, the feeling of discontent and dislike grew every day. With our house, we fall in love more every day.

5. The end of the day. It doesn't matter how much I've enjoyed my work for the day, I'm so excited to go home. My drive home is mostly along the river, which is pretty at all times of the year. There is very little traffic, and only two traffic lights, so I don't arrive home stressed out from the commute like I used to. And absolutely nothing beats pulling into the garage and seeing the door open and two blonde-headed, blue-eyed faces light up at seeing me.

6. My new turquoise sweater. I love this sweater. It's my favorite color. It's super warm. And I get compliments every time I wear it.

7. Pancakes! I try to make pancakes (from scratch) at least once a week. I'm not sure anyone else in my family likes them as much as I do, but that isn't going to change Saturday or Sunday being pancake morning.

8. Panera Cinnamon Crunch Bagels. I had these for the first time on a call night in the ICU. And I've been hooked ever since. It's a good thing I don't pass Panera on my way home or we would be eating these a lot more. These are seriously the best bagels I have ever had. And now I want some...

9. Reading with the boys. Every night, I read with Monkey, and then with Bug. With Monkey, it's usually Bear Snores On, or A Color of His Own, or The Very Hungry Catepillar (or all of the above.) With Bug, it is a chapter from the book we are making our way through, currently The Shores of Silver Lake. I love this time with my boys that I fit in no matter how crazy the day, no matter how long the to-do list, no matter how tired I am. I will not miss this time with them.

10. Very silly, but anything related to weddings. I love the colors, the flowers, the decorations. I almost always flip through wedding magazines while I wait to check out at the grocery store. I'm still trying to convince Hubster that we need to have a second wedding, because it would just be so much fun. He apparently has different recollections of wedding planning.

I have to tag all my IRL friends.

Emma Lily
Todavine
Trina Bug
The Boy and I

I love these three girls, and they've stuck around with me for years. I love that they have started blogging and we can stay in touch more these days.

Then, people that make me happy every time I read their blogs. If you haven't read these, you should.

Karen at A Peek at Karen's World
Jennee at Cheap Therapy
Christian at Modobject at Home
Tia at Clever Girl Goes Blog
Stephanie at Steph in the City

Let me know what just makes your day.

The Real Deal

Friday, December 11, 2009

A Christmas tree is not just a decoration in our house. It is a family outing, activity, and tradition.


The first week of December, we load everyone up in the car. We drive to a Christmas tree lot that looks just right, the kind that have a light-bordered sign, a hand-warming station, and rows upon rows of trees. We try to avoid stores. Then everyone tumbles over each other out of the car and spreads out to look for the ultimate goal. The perfect tree.

This was true when I was a little girl, a teenager, then a college student home to visit. And it is still true now, with my own children.

There is usually some debate about who has found the perfect tree. But after seeing them all, everyone tends to fall in love with the same one.

The tree is then tied to the top of the car roof. Everyone piles back in, chilled, but excited. The tree is taken home to be covered with lights, popcorn garlands, baubles of all colors, and a variety of ornaments made at school. Everyone gets to put something on.


The tree fills the house with woodsy freshness, soft light, and a natural gathering place Christmas morning.

Our very real tree this year

Seeing a Christmas tree from this point of view, I'm sure it is not surprising that I am not a fan of artificial trees.

My stand point on artificial Christmas tress is well known. And it isn't just the ridiculous papery overly bright green look of the things.

It is the loss of the entire event that surrounds getting and setting up the Christmas tree each year. To have the Christmas tree lot replaced by the basement. To have the smell replaced by a cardboard box. I have resisted this every way I know how.

When Hubster mentioned a fake tree in the past, I pointed out that we lived in a two bedroom shoebox, and where was he planning on storing the thing for the 11 months of the year it wasn't being used. I've ridiculed fake trees. I've clung to my real tree snobbery.

So, I can't believe I'm going to say this.

Next year, we're going to get an artificial Christmas tree.

I've lost my "lack of storage" excuse, now that there is both a basement and a garage. And Hubster has shown me some trees that look pretty amazing for fake ones. Ones that have realistic needles and pinecones.

Ones that don't shed needles on the floor everytime Monkey throws a ball at it. Ones that already have the lights on. Ones that don't turn into a crispy brown accident waiting to happen.

I've fought and resisted for a very long time. The dark side has finally won.

An Incomplete List

Monday, November 23, 2009

Give me one hour of uninterrupted alone time, and I know exactly what I will do with it.

There are abundant things that I should do with that hour. Do the dishes, do the laundry, sweep, sleep, exercise. There are countless things I enjoy that I could also do. Paint, Photoshop, catch up on my DVR recordings, listen to music, blog.

But the one thing I choose above all others?

Read.

Since I was little, reading has been my favorite activity. In second grade, I would grab a blanket and sprawl in the sun on our back porch with novels far too advanced for my age. I didn't understand the subtleties of the plot, the emotions were often beyond the range of my own experience. But the adventure, danger, and romance swept me far away from my 8-year-old life. Any given afternoon, I was exploring tropical jungles, settling the West, or attending balls in the courts of France.

AS a teenager, I would walk around the house with my nose in a book. It was propped behind the sink as I washed dishes, it joined me at the dinner table. And often, I would sneak into the bathroom for completely uninterrupted reading, only to emerge, sometimes an hour later, and usually to frustrated siblings. I could disappear for a weekend at a time, curled up in my bed, exploring space, surviving wars, or discovering radioactivity.

I read nearly every book of the reading lists for high school. I made lists of book to read, and methodically crossed them off.

As soon as I had money, I began buying my own books. If anyone draws a blank on what to get me, they get me books.

Now I horde them. Do not ever, ever ask me to throw out a book. It does not matter that our five bookselves are overflowing and stacked every which way with tattered paperbacks from the book exchange or shiny new hardbacks from the chain store. The books are not books any longer. Each one is a character, a personality, well known and well loved.

I even love the smell of books. Open a brand new book and the smell of paper is intoxicating. I used to study on the second floor of the university library, not for the silence, but for the inviting, soothing smell of the rows upon rows of books.

It is hard for me to come up with a list of favorites. I can name my favorite people or favorite songs much easier than I can my favorite books. But I will do my best.

Some are on this list because of the story, some because of the impact they made when I read them, and others, purely from the joy I have every time I turn the first page.

A Tale of Two Cities


In my mind, this is Dickens' best book. The imagery is breathtaking. The strength of the writing and the plot development never disappoint. Not once.

Pride and Prejudice


I love Austen. Her witty, nearly sarcastic view on women's lives at the time appeals to both my feminine and feminist sides. And there is no character that I love more than Elizabeth Bennett. She is both perfect and flawed, and therefore, completely human.

Harry Potter


Yes, I am counting all 7 as one book. I have read these books more than I have any other (although Pride and Prejudice does come close.) Rowlings mastery at weaving a plot that takes twists never expected, her brilliant character development, and the sheer magic (pun both intended and not) of the books make it so they captivate me just as much the seventh time through as they did the first.

To Kill a Mockingbird


Exquisitely painful and beautiful at the same time, the range of emotions of this book nearly overwhelm me each time I read it. There are few literary characters that make you want to stand beside them as Atticus Finch.

Crime and Punishment


Dostoevsky's examination of guilt, conscience, justification, and redemption are both frightening and captivating, without letting you be sure of which emotion is stronger.

The Hobbit


I was sure at one time that I loved science fiction more than I loved fantasy. Now, I'm not so sure. The one thing I am sure of is that I can trace my shift in feelings back to when I first read a story about a hobbit stepping out of his little round door and setting of in search of gold, adventure, and self-identity.

I think I should stop at 6. Otherwise, I will be perusing my library all night, reading through books and deciding if they should be on my list or not.

This is not be any means a complete list. Not even close. Mary Shelley, Ray Bradbury, Leo Tolstoy all belong on this list as well. Nor is it even close to being a list of books I feel are must reads. I'll save that for another day.

What books are on your "favorite" list?

Let me know, so that, given enough uninterrupted alone hours, I can add them to mine.

Girl's Night

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Last night was a girl's night out.

I met three other women and we saw New Moon.

It has been a very long time since I've gotten together with girls, without kids, without Hubster. In fact, after I got home and thought about it, I couldn't remember the last time I had done that.

Estrogen is therapeutic.

I had been looking forward to my night out all week. That morning, I spent a little extra time doing my hair, a little more time picking out my clothes, a little more time just trying to look nice.

When I got to work, I got all sorts of compliments. That I looked nice, that that color really looked good on me, that I should wear my hair down more often. My attending commented she had never seen me wear boots or wear my hair down. I explained that I was having a girls night out and was very excited about it.

She gave me a strange look.

"You get dressed up nice and do your hair for girls, but not for your husband?"

I laughed it off, saying I do look nice when I go out with Hubster, but that spending Saturday afternoons curled up on the couch watching college football together, while one of my favorite things, hardly inspires me to put that extra effort in the my hair and makeup or wear a pair of sexy shoes.

I've always put more effort into looking nice when I go out with girls. And up until yesterday, I didn't really think anything about it.

Maybe I don't feel the need to impress men anymore. I'm happily married to Hubster, and attention from any other male just really doesn't mean anything.

It doesn't mean that I've given up on impressing Hubster either. Although after 8 1/2 years, impressing someone just by doing your hair is a little harder. Although I have been complimented just on managing to get dressed post call, so maybe it's not. Hubster and I have just grown comfortable with each other, like an old pair of jeans or shoes that are the more comfortable thing you own.

But does all that mean I feel the need to impress other women?

I've come to the conclusion that women are much harder on other women than men are about other men. In an instant, we draw conclusion and make assumptions about other women based on their clothes, their body type, their posture, their company. We let other women make us feel self-conscious about ourselves more than any man ever could.

But I don't think that had anything to do with why I word lipstick and heels last night.

I don't think the women I was with last night would judge me if I had come looking like I do every other day of the week, like the harried, fatigued, mother-of-two, 80-hours-a-week-resident that I am. I don't think the women I was with last night would have noticed, or cared, if I had worn my work clothes out. I don't think the women I was with last night judge me for the extra "baby" weight I carry.

No. Sometimes pink and glitter and make-up are just sitting around, waiting for an excuse. And last night was mine.

First Signs

Monday, September 14, 2009

Fall comes slowly here. It has been creeping up on me for weeks now. The hint of yellow between the green. The droop of flowers. The tinge of red along the river.



Fall in Utah was so different. First the trees would change, nearly overnight, on the mountain sides. The frost and snow would come soon after. Suddenly the color and crispness of fall would be gone, sidewalks covered in the crunch of brown leaves, trees bare against the sky. And I always felt like I missed it.

Here, it has a slow gradual pace, as if autumn is enjoying itself. Flowers change from purple and blue variety to a yellow and red. Trees take their time, trying to be inconspicuous about the small piles of leaves forming underneath them.



Fall has not yet descended in all her glory. But every day I see more of her.

Game Day

Friday, September 4, 2009

I must interrupt my regular programming for a very important update.

I've already mentioned my sadness about the passing of summer. Even now, looking out my office window, the flowers across the street are looking slightly wilted and there are now, not just yellow leaves, but red leaves too in the trees around the school yard.

Someone else out there must have felt the same pain that summer was over. Because they did the very best they could to ease the transition between warm, carefree summer days and the nip and chill of autumn.

They invented college football.

Last night, watching Boise State beat up on Oregon while checking the progress of the Utes game on the computer (Oh, the sadness of leaving our beloved Mountain West conference and living in the land of the Big Ten) I once again realized how much I love football.

Image "borrowed" from ESPN

I'll be honest here. Before I met Hubster, I didn't know a pick from a fumble, a tight end from a running back, a play action pass from the option. But then, just as I introduced Hubster to the wonderful world of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, he introduced me to the beauty of college football.

I've tried watching the NFL. While I will admit that I do love the occasional Monday Night game, and that I enjoy a good Super Bowl party as much as anyone, I just never was able to get that into. The NFL is more about super egos, trades, and politics.

College football, on the other hand, is all about the love of the game. Most the boys playing college football will not go on to play professionally. While most of them do get some compensation for their playing in the form of scholarships, it still requires a lot of them. We joke about paid test takers and easy majors, but the truth is that sports gives college opportunities to many who wouldn't have any otherwise. These kids play with their hearts. And you see it with every ecstatic cheer after a win and every look of heartbreak after a loss.

I'm going to miss my Utes something fierce. After two perfect seasons and two BCS appearances I have high expectations and higher loyalty. Because of a poorly thoughtout decision to have a conference TV channel, I will not be able to watch very many Ute football games here in Iowa.


But Iowa is doing its best to ease our pain. College football, depending on who you talk too, comes just after, or just before, God and church out here. During game day, the local university stadium becomes the fifth largest city in Iowa. We hope to make it to a game this year.

Because it doesn't matter if it is your alma mater or not. It doesn't matter if you cheer for the home team or not. It doesn't (always) matter whether you win or lose.

What matters is the game.

Big Reveal, Part 2: The Kitchen

Thursday, September 3, 2009

When we first saw our home, we loved the Pergo that was in the living room.

The adjoining kitchen has blue linoleum, which we imaging being replaced by the same Pergo that was in the living room. We thought it would make the main floor feel more open and light having the same flooring throughout.


However, given our limited budget and time, we were never that serious about replacing the kitchen floor.

Until the home inspection revealed some rot underneath the kitchen floor by the back door. The subfloor needed to be replaced, which meant tearing out the existing kitchen floor. While we knew this would be a labor intensive project, we were still excited, because it gave us the perfect excuse to extend the American Beech Pergo flooring of the living room into the kitchen...just like we had imagined.

But before any of that could happen, the popcorn ceiling had to be removed. That involved days atop ladders and stools, wearing masks, equipped with spray bottles, scrapers, and sanders. We've tried to completey shut that portion of the home renovation out of our mind. It was more miserable that I will ever be able to convey. But worth it. Now, a home that had popcorn ceilings through out (and when I say through out, I'm including closests and bathrooms and every single other surface that could be interpretted as a ceiling.) Like they say, things must get worse before they get better.



Replacing the kitchen floor turned out to be just a slightly bigger project than previously anticipated. Turns out, the previous home owners had installed the blue linoleum right over the old linoleum, which had be installed right over the original linoleum. Between the layer of blue linoleum and tan linoleum, and then again between the layer of tan linoleum and original red, orange, and avacodo green checkered linoleum, was an additional subfloor. So, if you're keeping track, that's five, FIVE, layers of old flooring that needed to be removed before we could reach the damaged original subfloor. We discussed not fixing the subfloor and just laying the Pergo right over the five other layers of flooring. However, the kitchen floor was already raised nearly 1/2 inch compared to the living room floor due to previous homeowners taking this same approach.

So, we gritted our teeth and did it right. Well, Hubster did it right. I mostly watched between naps recovering from night shifts and overbearing senior residents. I will say this. When you come home to scenes like this, it can be slightly overwhelming.



The paint color was another challenge. I had thought about doing a lighter version of the living room color. But because we had to work around the existing countertops, I thought that it would be too much blue-gray in one room. Then we thought yellow. A yellow kitchen is so cheerful and friendly. However, after we starting painting the kitchen yellow, we didn't like how it felt next to the calming blue in the living room. The contrast was too much, and even though we had chosen a very creamy yellow, it felt much too bright.

One evening, as we were sitting there, staring at our very yellow wall, I confessed that I thought it wasn't the right color. Hubster chips in with, "Well, I always thought the yellow was a bad idea." Well, thanks.

After more paint cards stuck to the wall and more discussions, we decided on a warm cream. The color reminds me of antique parchment, comfortable linen, and Florida beaches. While quite neutral, it is warm and welcoming and works so nicely with the antique white trim that we extended in from the living room.

Between the new floors and new paint, our kitchen is mostly done.

BEFORE:



AFTER:


BEFORE:


AFTER:


BEFORE:


AFTER:


This room also suffers from lack of accessories. But just imagine a giant iron clock on the wall behind the table.


And a larger table that would actually have room for guests to sit at it. I love the idea of a table in the same dark espresso wood we used in the living room, surrounded by cross-back chairs in white, to pick up the color of the trim.


But even without those, our kitchen is nice. It is bright with so much light coming in from the large back door over looking the back yard.

It is also a place where extremely competitive games of Phase 10 are played and new attempts at cooking are both enjoyed and, um, declined.

The Big Reveal, Part 1

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The last few months since the Big Move have been busy.

It wasn't just the move, it wasn't just residency starting.

We also had a home to remodel.

Hubster and I have lived in apartments ever since we got married. I had lived in an apartment with three roommates a year prior to that. Hubster had lived in apartment for many years before that. We had spent all of our time together and our time as a family of three and then a family of four with people above us, and people below us, and people on the right and on the left.

We watched our friends buy homes and nearly made ourselves sick with envy.

But we were willing to wait until it made sense. We had thought about buying a few years ago, but then the housing market turned south, and we were grateful that we hadn't. Otherwise, we would have found ourselves in the situation we saw some of my classmates: homes for sale and unable to see before the move for residency had to be made. We moved to Iowa without the stress of selling a home.

We had spent years imagining what our home would be like. What we wanted the rooms to feel like, the mood we wanted to create. And we were sure that after years of living as a family of four in a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom 650 square foot apartment, we would appreciate our home more than anyone else ever had.

We've been working on the house since day one.

And I am finally ready to start sharing some of the work.

Well, kind of ready. We still have an lack of furniture and there are still many boxes that have not been touched. (And I would like to apologize for the slight blurriness of the photos. My camera's auto focus has gone haywire. I know what I want for Christmas.)

I wanted to have a week of reveals, but doing call every third night prevents that. So, I will have a series of reveals, done as quickly as my schedule and lack of sleep allow.

Today: the living room.


The BEFORE:




When we bought our couch three years ago, we bought a nice neutral tan sofa. I knew that this procluded me from ever painting the living room tan. Which is a good thing. Hubster and I decided that we wanted a gray-blue slate color in the living room to complement the dark wood and green and turquoise accents we love.

The AFTER:




The color is a little bluer that we anticipated, but we love it. (Also, after painting for weeks, there was no way we were repainting any room.) It is such a relaxing color.

The trim used to be brown. We painted it all a lovely antique white.

We hung the photos up last week.



Now it finally feels like we live here.

Corn Country

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

They grow good corn here in Iowa.

At least that's what we've heard.

And if quantity is any sign of quality, it must be true. Because corn fields flank nearly every road and make up much of the scenery.

We decided to try the local corn out. Because honestly, Wal-mart corn just wasn't cutting it.

We made our way to the local farmer's market. I wish that I had brought my camera. The tables of heirloom tomatoes, and new baby squash, and jars overflowing with fresh cut bundles of herbs, and the backs of trucks filled to the rim with corn was beautiful.

We bought our dozen corn and went home and peeled it on the back porch, enjoying the evening.



Turns out, they're right.


The corn here is mighty good.

Which group are you in?

Sunday, July 5, 2009

When I first started this blog, I didn't want something that was just about parenting, or just about medicine, or just about books. I wanted my blog to be pretty much like me. A little bit about everything and a whole lot of love and passion.

In an effort to keep things that way, I am not going to talk about how intern year is going (all 5 days of it.) Because that would have made four posts in a row about internship and medicine, and that is plenty.

So, I'm going to talk about Harry Potter.


I like to put people in categories. People who are readers and people who are non-readers. People who like where they live and people who don't.

I think people fall into three general categories when it comes to Harry Potter. They love Harry Potter, they are completely neutral about Harry Potter, or they hate Harry Potter (either because of the social hype or from some other issue: and believe me, there are people who have issues with Harry Potter. Even though I think that is a waste of time: be concerned about the economy, or global warming, or AIDS in Africa. Let's not get all out of sorts about children's literature... I'm not saying don't have an opinion about it. Because I love opinions. Just, whoa, calm down! But like always, I digress.)

I happen to be in the first category.

I love Harry Potter. I was first introduced to him in college. That's right. College. My roommate was reading the book, I teased her about it, and she basically said "Don't judge until you read." So I read.

And now I'm convinced that everyone would be in the first category, if only they would read.

When I first met Hubster, he was definitely in the category of "non-reader." He hadn't read a novel since his required 12th grade English reading. The last novel he read for pleasure was probably in elementary school.

I convinced him to take me to see the first Harry Potter film when it came out. After we saw the movie, he bought all the books that were out (it was four at the time.) He read them all.

And he has since gone on to move into the reader category. He reads all the time. I've said it before: Sometimes just reading is more important than what you read. I would rather my family read lighthearted novels all the time then a serious book once in their life. (I'm not saying that serious books aren't important: they are. But first, let's just get people reading!)

Before each Harry Potter movie comes out in theaters, Hubster and I both re-read the entire series.

Which makes this my eighth time reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. (Because I read it a couple times before I saw any of the movies.) It is just as entertaining and engaging as the first time.

J.K. Rowling is a superb story teller and creates vivid characters and shocking plot twists. Often dismissed as "just children's literature" her writing is strong enough to hold its own for any audience.

The sixth movie, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, comes out next week.

Considering I'm still reading the first book, I don't think I'm going to get through the entire series before I see the movie. (But maybe the same craziness in my life that has prevented me from reading more may prevent me from seeing the film until I've read all 7 books again. Stranger things have happened.)

But regardless...

I'm excited to see the movie. And I'm thoroughly enjoying what may be my favorite books of all time again.

(And believe me...this is not the end of my posting about Harry Potter...there will be more.)

The second first day of the rest of my life

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I had hyped myself up to expect the worst of today.

I had images of being a third year medical student all over again. Lost, confused, intimidated by every other person around me, scared out of my mind, and overwhelmed by the slightest thing.

It wasn't like that.

I did have to ask stupid questions. Questions like, "So, are we really diagnosing her with constipation?" "Um...is that normal?" "How do you print discharge instructions?"

Stupid questions are part of every learning curve.

As far as first days go, today was awesome. I felt on top of my game. I charmed the nurses, impressed my attending, had a patient tell me how wonderful I was. Not bad.

About halfway through my shift, I had a revelation.

I like medicine.

I've been trying to convince myself for years that I hate it. That medical school was the biggest mistake that I had ever made. That it was never going to be worth the sacrifices I had made. I've been depressed. I've been angry.

But today...I was happy.

I enjoyed seeing patients. I got excited over radiology reports and lab results.

For a moment, I was able to forget about the Power Point presentations about depression and suicide and divorce rates among resident physicians. I was able to forget about my bitterness about the things I've given up and missed out on.

Today, I felt like a doctor. And today, it felt like a pretty amazing thing to be.

(Although it will never be better than my real job of raising Bug and Monkey.)

During busyness of the emergency room, I was approached by a medical student who had come down to admit one of my patients to the hospital. She asked, rather timidly, about the patient's history. I started telling her about the patient's cancer, how the diagnosis was made, and about the complications she was currently experiencing.

Suddenly, I recognized all the emotions I experienced yesterday. All the feelings of being scared, overwhelmed, intimidated, lost, and confused were painfully obvious on the wide-eyed medical student in front of me.

"Hold on. What year are you?"

"I'm a third year medical student...And it's my first day." She looked like she was ready to cry. I could already see the signs of stress and sacrifice in her face.

"Okay, come sit down and I'll tell you exactly what your resident needs to know. Here are the patient's outside records. It's going to be okay. It's my first day too. And I'm pretty sure we're feeling the same way."

We talked about the patient. She thanked me. Then she left to report to her senior resident.

I learned two things from that interaction.

First, that I should always take the time to make someone's day a little easier. I sure wish someone had sat me down and said "Okay, this is how you do it." That a welcome smile and a little guidance can make a big difference.

And the second thing...

Wow, I've come a long way.

Soundtrack

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Part of why movies are so great isn't the story or the characters. It's the background music. It always lets you know what to anticipate. Is someone about to be kissed or killed? Just listen and you'll have a pretty good guess.

I always wished that my life came with background music. Not only would I have a better idea of what to expect in my own life, it would just be cool.

So, I've created the soundtrack to my life.

This is not necessarily my favorite music, or what I listen to on a daily basis. But rather, it is the background music of where I've been, who I have been, who I am now, and what I (hopefully) am becoming.

(I also had to cut quite a few songs out. Because after 27 years, that would be a lot of music. And no one would buy a CD that had 462 songs on it.)


1. Lemon Tree- Peter, Paul, & Mary: My parents would sing PP&M songs as we road-tripped between California and Utah. I always remember sitting in the back of the car and falling asleep to the sound of Lemon Tree, Where Have All the Flowers Gone, and If I Had a Hammer. My dad also would play them on his guitar, whether it was around campfires or in the living room after dinner.

2. Annie's Song- John Denver: If there is a singer that reminds me of my dad, it is John Denver. When I was little, my dad had a list of songs taped to the back of his guitar. This one was on it. It was one of my favorites. He would play it and my five-year-old self would dance. Years later, he played it at my wedding, and I cried.

3. I'm Only Happy When It Rains - Garbage: I know: a big jump from PP&M and John Denver to Garbage. Besides that this song is "about" rain, and I love the rain and songs related to it, this is just a good song. It reminds me of my period of teenage angst. Bad days and good days and drives with my friends at night. Don't we all have that song?

4. I Love You- Donna Lewis: I asked some of my friends what songs reminded them of our time in middle school. This song was on all of their lists. I guess it reminds all of us of sleep overs, way too much sugar and nail polish.

5. You're All I Need- White Lion: This was the first (and only) song that Hubster sang to me. Just once. Back when we were dating, on the way home from a road trip. In the darkness of the car, lit by the instrument panel, him singing to me. One of the moments when how much I loved him hit me like a tidal wave.

6. Can't Help Falling in Love- Elvis: There was no way a soundtrack of my life would not have an Elvis song on it. Enough said.

7. Cable Car (Over My Head)- The Fray: No kidding, the first time I heard this song was after a very hard day in the hospital. Now, regardless of what the song is really about, it has become an anthem to the moments that I'm not sure I'm going to make it. (And you all thought I would choose another The Fray song.)

8. Unwell- Matchbox 20: There were days during medical school that I was sure I was falling to pieces and was never going to make it. I would sit on the kitchen floor and cry and ask to be allowed to quit. While I'm glad (I think) that I finished, it's hard to speak to how difficult those days really were.

9. If I had $1000000- Barenaked Ladies: Every time Hubster and I start talking about all the plans we have for our future, it isn't long before one of us says this. And we can't never hear this song without looking at each other and smiling and thinking how much we want for each other and our family. This is truly an everyday song.

10. Suddenly I See- KT Tunstall: The perfect song for all of us overly-ambitious, dedicated females. I felt that I could hear this music in the back of my head when I walked across the stage to receive my medical degree.

11. I Don't Love You Much, Do I-Guy Clark and Emmylou Harris: Okay, like I said, a little cheesy. But still perfect. I hum this song to my boys, because it is true.

12. When You Dream - Barenaked Ladies: I can't listen to this song without getting a little teary-eyed. Being a mother to two little boys had been the most amazing thing that I can imagine. And it is hard to find songs that speak to the hopes and wishes and insecurities and successes that parenthood provides without them being a little cheesy. But this song is perfect.

13. Closer- Better than Ezra: Every time I hear this song, I get that tingly feeling and I want to run and hold my family and thank them for everything and tell them how much I love them. This song, every since I discovered it one day among a bunch of songs Hubster had dumped into my iTunes, has become the current theme song for my life.


I know that it is an eclectic (although not random) collection of music, but isn't everyday like that? It was hard to sift between all the songs that I love and those that have strong memories and emotions tied to them, but in the end these are the ones that made the cut. (I'm sur that there will be a sequel sometime in the future.)

Music speaks to me (or at least I pretend that it is). These songs in particular always have something to say.

Season Finales

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Many of my favorite shows are rapidly approaching their season finale. Although this means a lot of excitement, it also means a summer full of re-runs.

(Although Psych will be starting up with new episodes this summer. So at least I have witty 80s references to keep me happy.)

I used to say I was a fan of reality television. This was back when Survivor was about the only reality show there was. However, I don't watch "American Idol," "Dancing with the Stars," "So You Think You Can Dance," "Big Brother," or "The Bachelor." Since these are the first things that people think of when they hear reality TV, I don't say I'm a fan of reality TV anymore. I leave it at being a fan of Survivor and Amazing Race.

Amazing Race ends next week. And this is the first time I don't hate at least one of the teams in the final three. I'm really hoping that Tammy and Victor will win. After all, they've completely dominated most of the race. They deserve it. But if Luke and Margie win, I'll still be pretty happy. Come on, being in the final three of a uber-competitive race, both physical and mental, doing awesome, and being deaf? That's a big deal. It's so nice to see people not using disability as an excuse, but a reason to push themselves harder. It makes it so I just expect even more from myself.

Survivor is also approaching its finale. I would just like to say that while none of the contestants are as hot as resident physician Marcus for last season, this is shaping up to be an amazing, amazing season. The contestants are crazier than ever (um, Coach, you're a big liar!). The blindside votes are better. The alliances are more surprising. Personally, I'm rooting for J.T.

Marcus from Survivor Gabon

Lost will be ending in a couple weeks. I'm very broken up about this. I watched the first three seasons of Lost on DVD. Hubster and I watched 4 episodes a night, every night, until we had seen all three seasons. During the approximately three weeks this process took, we were extremely exhausted, but so intrigued by the story, we just couldn't stop.

So for us, only one hour once a week has been a tough adjustment. But the time in between seasons is akin to torture. What will we talk about at dinner?

As for this season, it's been pretty good. I really missed the flashbacks, so I'm glad they've gotten back to those in the last few episodes. But I'm too broken up about Daniel Faraday's death to be very happy. Lost always does this. Create characters you love, and then kills them off. Charlie, gone. Eko, gone. Daniel, gone. But pure-evil, master-manipulator, horrible Ben? He's still alive. I'm hoping next season brings a little more justice.

But I'm not going to dwell on the inevitable sadness of the time after season finales. I'm going to just sit down on my couch with a huge bowl of popcorn, and enjoy the time that we have left.

Through and Through

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Whenever Hubster and I hear anyone refer to themselves as geeks or nerds, we just laugh.

Because we know the truth.

They have nothing on us.

It took a while, but we have completely accepted that we are true nerds, through and through. And now, honestly, we are quite proud of it.

I was a biology major with a minor in chemistry. Hubster got a double major in mathematics and physics. I was president of the science club in high school, winning silver metals in state competition. Hubster led his class to a championship in the "Knowledge Bowl."

And we are doing the best we can to instill these precious attributes in our boys.

They have a model solar system hanging from their bedroom ceiling. We encourage them to "play" on Google Earth for computer time. We spend afternoons at museums. Family movie night? Your pick: Planet Earth or Blue Planet. And for fun...

"Guess what we're going to do today?"

"What?!!!"

"Grow salt and sugar crystals!!!"

And that's what we do. And each day, they would oh and aw about how much the crystals had grown. Until finally it was the day to take them out and eat them.










And then I saw these flash cards on Uncommon Goods. And I WANT them for my two year old!



This is all for their own good.

With a physician mom, and a dad applying for dental school, being a nerd can really pay off. Well, we hope so. Someday.

Because it's Monday

Monday, April 20, 2009

Or it was.

And Monday is as good as anytime to start something new.

I was going to post this earlier. But a incredibly grumpy pair of boys and an incredibly invigorating round of Wii Fit have delayed me until right now.

I've been thinking about how to incorporate quotes into my blog. Because I love them. I avidly collect them. Anytime I come across on that I love, I must write it down. Books I'm reading, billboards, plaques at museums, commercials, the internet. The source doesn't matter. I scribble them down either in the notebook I always carry around with me. Or an scraps of paper in my purse. On on the back of envelopes on my desk. They are tacked up in random spots around my house.

So, if I haven't made it clear...I LOVE quotes.

I thought about doing something on my sidebar, but when I would change the quote, the previous would just get lost in the internet void.

So, I've done some posts with quotes in them (Which also allowed me to give my opinion about the quote and the person who said it. Because I do like to give my opinion.) But those posts just get lost in the archives, so really, it was no better. And there are so many other things that I would rather write about than quotes. I just really want to share my favorite ones with you.

So, I'm going to do a weekly quote. On my sidebar. (First, because daily is too frequently, and monthly is way too spread out, and secondly, because it is just easier there.)

So, tell me what you think of my weekly quotes. Sometimes silly, sometimes serious, sometimes famous, sometimes obscure.

And if you know any good ones, send them my direction. I'm sure I can find a blank piece of wall to hang them up on.

There's No Place Like Home

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

It feels like I've been away for forever.


But I have a good reason.

Over the weekend, Hubster and I flew to Iowa. And bought a house!!

Our very first house. It's really ours! (Well, pending something disasterous on the inspection and worse case scenario with financing. But parring those two nightmares...it's ours!!)

(Oh, and prepare yourself for a lot of exclamation points. I'm extremely excited about this whole thing.)

I have lived in an apartment every since I first moved out of my parents' house the summer after I graduated high school. It's been pretty much the same for Hubster (just five years longer.)

We've raised our two boys in apartments.

While it has been convenient in terms of needing to move for various reasons, and more affordable, it obviously has had it's drawbacks.

My boys have never had a yard. They can't go outside unless I'm with them. We have to be "considerate" of those who share walls and floors and ceilings (which means no Tonka trucks in the kitchen.)

The worst part about it has just been the whole temporary feeling. Each place we've lived, we think, "Oh, we're just here for a little while." We don't feel settled.

But all of that is going to change. We have a house!

Granted, it's not a beautiful house. It needs a little "love." But everything it needs are just surface treatments: paint, new carpet, new light fixtures. Things I probably would have done anyways, regardless of the home.


Living Room

(Needs paint, but the floors are nice)


Kitchen

(Needs new floor, but the cabinets are new)


But what the house has are things you wouldn't be able to fix. Location! (Isn't that the rule of real estate?) We are next door to what is most likely the best elementary school in town. We are in a gorgeous neighborhood (I can't believe we could afford a home in that neighborhood!) We are only two miles from the university and parks. It is just wonderful!!

Oh, and it has a yard.