Take two and call me in the morning

Friday, April 17, 2009

My oldest son woke up with a high fever this morning. Not high enough to rush to the emergency room. But high enough for him to feel achy and for me to call his school and excuse him.

I know that it is most likely some virus that he caught from school. And that he will probably be over it by tomorrow.

However, both my medical training and my panicky parental side worry. Could he have meningitis? No, he has a slight headache, but no other symptoms. Could he have pneumonia? No, he couldn't have a cough. Could he have this, or that, or this other terrible thing? No, he's just got a bug, and it will pass.

But should he not get better, or his fever get higher, or he have other symptoms that scare the crap out of me, it is nice to know that the emergency room is less than 10 minutes away.

We hear a lot about the "good ol' days." But in terms of medicine, there never was never anything good about the old days.

150 years ago, if a child woke up with a fever, there was nothing to reassure a parent that it wasn't that child's final moments. No way to differentiate mild from serious. And if it did turn serious, what was anyone going to do? Bleed them? High childhood mortality has been an extremely common thing until recent times.

It is only thanks to leaving behind the "good ol' days" that we can, for the most part, feel secure that our children will make it through childhood sniffles, fevers, and aches, and reach adulthood.

I am grateful to live in a time where I can give my little boy Tylenol, cuddle with him on the couch in front of our favorite Pixar movie, and trust that he will be fine in the morning.

Perfect Fit

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Last week, I got a lot of great advice about things I could do to my diet/exercise plan.

And like always, I thought of excuses about why this one and that one wouldn't work for me.

The one that I know what true was that I needed variety in my exercise plan.

A little background on my approach to exercise:

I have been to a gym once. That was during high school as a guest with one of my friends. Yep, a whole ONE time.

I've had lots of reasons for this. Financially, things have always been a little tight. There just wasn't the cash for a membership that I may or may not have used. After I had kids, I was away from home so much of the time, that I felt too guilty to be away from home even more just to work out.

My exercise equipment has been the sidewalk when Hubster is home and a stationary bike I bought 5 years ago when he's not.

But I am limited to those no longer. I have a new outlet.

Wii Fit!!!!



My brother-in-law brought it over last week, and then seeing the covetous look in my eye, asked if we wanted to borrow it for a while. (So, actually I have a new outlet until he wants it back.)

We can't afford a Wii system right at this time. But it is now of the list of "Must Haves!"

I'm sure that I'm a little late on this bandwagon, but this thing is amazing. The first day after doing a full workout on it, I was sore everywhere. Which was great!

It is like having a personal trainer at home. And with the variety of exercises, I don't get bored. I can do this thing for hours (instead of pushing myself for a full 30 minutes on my stationary bike and hating every minute of it.) Yoga, strength training, aerobics! I have to talk myself into stopping, mostly because someone wants to watch TV or someone else wants a turn.

And there is a competitive aspect to it. Everyone is trying to beat other people's scores, which pushes them (and me) to work harder.

And, according to the Wii, I've lost another pound (although my home scale says it's just half a pound, but I'm only listening to the Wii now.)

So, if you can't tell, I'm pretty excited about it.

So, excuse me, I've got to go and beat Hubster's boxing score.

Wearing the Pants

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I really hate that phrase. But you hear it all the time.

"Who wears the pants in this relationship?"

I feel very lucky. Hubster and I have an amazing relationship. Most of what I do is due to the support and strength I draw from that relationship.

Both of us grew up surrounded by examples of very traditional gender roles. Husband goes to work, makes the money. Wife has the children, stays home, keeps house.

And while we both have deep-rooted appreciation for our mothers and their "stay-at-home" roles in our lives, we have done things differently.

While I technically have not "worked" (as in brought home a paycheck), I have spent the equivalent of two full-time jobs getting first my undergraduate degree and then my medical degree.

Hubster has always been 100% supportive of this.

Hubster has worked full-time, and gone to school part-time.

Our boys have spent a lot of time in daycare, a place neither Hubster nor I spent any time in as children. But given our time, we both take equal care of the boys. Hubster has changed just as many diapers as I have. He bathes the boys probably more often than I do. He gets up with them in the night. We both have stayed home from work to be with them when they are sick.

We both take out the gabage, do dishes, and put away laundry.

We have not done things "traditionally."

And even with that frame of reference, things are about to dramatically change. When I start my residency in June, I will have a paying job. One that pays the same as Hubster's current job. When we move to Iowa, Hubster will spend most of the first few months at home with our boys. And then he is going to graduate school.

Things are shifting. I will be the money-maker. Hubster will be the student. And we will both continue to be the joint care providers for our boys. (With the help of some daytime paid child care.)

I didn't go to medical school with the intention of being the main provider for our family. I went because I could, it was an amazing opportunity, and because it did offer the possibility that things would eventually be better for our family.

We both knew that these changes were going to occur. But sometimes the changes feel overwhelming. I worry that Hubster will feel usurped in his role as "provider." (Even though he constantly reassures me that he doesn't and won't.)

(I also worry about Hubster being in charge of meals while I'm working 80 hours a week. Because he really is NOT a good cook.)

How important are gender roles to you? If things were suddenly reversed, how do you think you or your significant other would cope? Is your image of you flexible enough to allow what is best for the family to occur, even with the chance of wounded pride to yourself?

So, when people ask, "Who wears the pants in this relationship?" I don't know what to say.

This relationship is a two way street, with mutual responsiblity and respect, with flexible roles, and people that are doing the best to adapt to whatever life gives them.

Happy Easter

Sunday, April 12, 2009

The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the flowers are starting to bloom.

Easter is a wonderful time for it to start feeling like spring.

Fingerprints

Saturday, April 11, 2009

You know how on crime shows, if the detectives find a fingerprint, everything is pretty much smooth sailing from there? Because they can just put the fingerprint in their computer and it comes up with a match. And then they have their suspect.

I've never been fingerprinted in my life. Never had any reason to.

So I always thought that if I were ever to commit a crime, I pretty much had a free pass. I could leave fingerprints over everything at the crime scene. It wouldn't matter. There wouldn't be a computer in the whole world that could match it to anything.


(This is off course assuming that everything else went well. Like no witnesses, video cameras, photographs, etc, etc. Of course. And that I would conjure images of Katherine Zeta Jones in Entrapment.)


Well, it looks like my days of getting off scott free are over.

Part of my physician licensing paperwork is going down to the sheriff's office and having a complete set of fingerprints taken and entered into the FBI database. This is all part of my criminal background check. To make sure that they are letting psychopaths become licensed physicians.

And apparently keep future criminal activity in check as well.

So there go my dreams of the perfect diamond heist.

In a Slump

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I need to get back on track, both with posting and my now titled "so-called-diet."

It has earned that name, not from lack of effort, but from lack of results.

I'm working on not getting discouraged. But I feel that after four months of nearly daily exercise, a lot of vegetable juice and low-fat yogurt and minimal treats, I should have more to show for it than just 8 pounds of weight loss.

I think that I could get better results with more time spend exercising, but it is all that I can fit into my day. And you think that going from zero minutes on zero days a week to 45 minutes on 6 days a week would have had some effect.

I'm sure that I could lose weight if I ate less. But I'm already eating a lot less. I'm hungry a lot of the time, and I'm working on letting hunger be a good feeling. If my stomach rumbles, I try to think, "That's the sound of results." But really, it is just the sound of a grumpy girl.

I feel like I'm fighting against so many things.

One is my gender. Hubster eats terribly, despite my best efforts. And a few months ago, he got in an exercising mood, and spend a few minutes each day jump-roping. In a week, he had lost 3 pounds. With no diet changes. I'm beginning to think it is just easier for men.

The other thing is my metabolism. I feel that it has come to a screeching halt since I've had my kids. It is very easy for me to gain weight. Just a couple weeks of not being super careful (like a job interview trip) and I will gain several pounds. And then they don't come off.

Ever, apparently.

I'm not going to quit. This is the longest I have stuck with any diet and exercise plan.

And there is a lot of evidence that overweight, active people are significantly more healthy than normal weight, inactive people. So the overall benefit is still worth it.

But I want some results!!

There's No Place Like Home

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

It feels like I've been away for forever.

But I have a good reason.

Over the weekend, Hubster and I flew to Iowa. And bought a house!!

Our very first house. It's really ours! (Well, pending something disasterous on the inspection and worse case scenario with financing. But parring those two nightmares...it's ours!!)

(Oh, and prepare yourself for a lot of exclamation points. I'm extremely excited about this whole thing.)

I have lived in an apartment every since I first moved out of my parents' house the summer after I graduated high school. It's been pretty much the same for Hubster (just five years longer.)

We've raised our two boys in apartments.

While it has been convenient in terms of needing to move for various reasons, and more affordable, it obviously has had it's drawbacks.

My boys have never had a yard. They can't go outside unless I'm with them. We have to be "considerate" of those who share walls and floors and ceilings (which means no Tonka trucks in the kitchen.)

The worst part about it has just been the whole temporary feeling. Each place we've lived, we think, "Oh, we're just here for a little while." We don't feel settled.

But all of that is going to change. We have a house!

Granted, it's not a beautiful house. It needs a little "love." But everything it needs are just surface treatments: paint, new carpet, new light fixtures. Things I probably would have done anyways, regardless of the home.

Living Room

(Needs paint, but the floors are nice)

Kitchen

(Needs new floor, but the cabinets are new)

But what the house has are things you wouldn't be able to fix. Location! (Isn't that the rule of real estate?) We are next door to what is most likely the best elementary school in town. We are in a gorgeous neighborhood (I can't believe we could afford a home in that neighborhood!) We are only two miles from the university and parks. It is just wonderful!!

Oh, and it has a yard.