Found in the Museum

Monday, February 9, 2009

"What in me is dark, illuminate.
What is low, raise and support."

-Engraved in the wall of University of Utah Museum of Natural History's geology hall

"E"verything

Thursday, February 5, 2009

This post necessitates another confession.

I love memes. I will pretty much do any one that gets sent to me by e-mail. Or any survey. I have been a part of the "25 random things about me" activity on Facebook. I'm not sure why. I think it mostly because I get hopeful that other people will do them as well, and then I get to read their responses. Which I like, more that doing the meme.

I have wasted a lot of time doing them by e-mail and on Facebook. So far, they haven't touched my blogs.

Until now.

See, I've been in kind of a writing rut. I've just been reading Jane Austen and watching cooking shows and building block towers with my boys and not much else. I've scribbled down some notes in the small notebook that is always in my purse, but nothing inspiring. So I'm hopeful that writing anything, even a meme, will help jump start some creativity.

I first came across this one on my truly favorite blog. The ABC game. The blog author assigns people who leave comments a letter of the alphabet. And then you make a list of 10 things you love that start with that letter.

My letter was E.

Here is my list.

1. Edward Cullen: Let me just get this one out of the way. It almost seems too easy. Edward is by far my biggest literary crush. I've had others, but nothing like this (I know, that is what all the girls say.) He's got looks, money, chivalry, and immortality. He could also kill you. But, really, that's trivial. (So, now I sigh loudly, and move on.)


2. E-mail: I haven't written a real letter to someone in the longest time (well, asides from thank you letters from my residency interviews, but that doesn't really count.) E-mail is cheaper (it's free!), I don't have to worry about my handwriting, and spell check (one that isn't my husband looking over my shoulder saying, "I don't think that's how you spell that.") is included. I do still send birthday and Christmas cards the old-fashioned way. But not letters. And everyday, it is exciting to open one of my three e-mail accounts and see who has "written" to me today.


3. Entertainment: Meaning movies. And TV. I love movies. Before we had kids, my husband and I went out to the movies all the time. And then, when the people around us started giving us dirty looks because of crying babies, we rented. We don't rent as much as we used to, but I still love movies. Especially those with happy endings.


4. Education: Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about education. After all, I have spent 21 years of my life so far getting one. I feel that everyone deserves the best and should have the support system in place to help them succeed. And no, I don't think that everyone needs to go to college. Just practically everyone. I think about how much I knew after high school and think about people entering the rest of their life with that frame of mind and it scares me. Education isn't just about books and experiments, it's about teaching someone how to think for themselves, analyze new ideas that come their way, and sort out truth from the clutter we are bombarded with. I especially feel that in these times, nothing gives you job security, life security, like a good education. Okay, I'll get down off my soap box.


5. English Authors: Austen, Bronte, Dickens. I love classical English literature. The characters are intriguing, the plots emotional. And the social commentary running through them all speaks to me. These are the books that I keep coming back to. (I love Russian and American authors too, but maybe just a little less.)


6. Exploring: I love to travel. And after making a comment like that, people always ask, "So where have you been." To which I have to say, "NO where!" That's not exactly true. I've been to Vancouver Island, all over the West Coast, to nearly every national park west of the Rockies, to Washington DC, Florida, the Bahamas. But I haven't even touched the list of places I really want to go. Virgin Islands, Venice, The Great Wall of China, Kenya. It's mostly been a financing issue. But my parents installed in me when I was very young a love of always needing to find out what is just around that bend in the road.


7. Espresso Machine: When I first started medical school, my husband because sure that I was personally financing Starbuck's growth. After all, nearly $4/cup, daily (if not more) can really add up quick. So, during my second year, he bought me an espresso machine. Which I use to make my girly vanilla cappuccinos or caramel lattes. I can have my daily influx of caffeine with nearly none of the financial guilt. I'm sure the machine paid for itself within three months.


8. Elvis: I confess, I do. Although I am more of a fan of early Elvis, when he was in black, with his well-groomed hair, and not so much a fan of late Elvis, with a paunch, and tight white leather and rhinestones, and sweaty chest hair. If I had been a teenager when young Elvis performed, I would have been screaming like every other girl. There is something about his voice that is the silkiest, richest voice ever. Everything is romantic when Elvis sings it.


9. Emily Dickinson: She is my absolute favorite poet. When I was in high school, I tried to write like she did. I would read her for comfort, for peace, for inspiration. Maybe that is what I should be doing now.


10. End of the day: Our days are hectic. I roll out of bed and hit the ground running. Both my husband and I usually have very demanding schedules. Add two small boys with schedules and needs of their own and things can really get crazy. But after all the craziness, after teeth-brushing, and story-reading, and song-singing, and one-more-time-bedtime-kisses, the house is quiet (and even miraculously, sometimes, clean-ish). Everything that needs to be done is done. Then I can curl up with my book, or on the couch with my husband. We may talk, or watch a movie, and just enjoy being together. There is just us.


So that is my ten. It was surprisingly hard (I came up with a list of ten "E" things that I hated much easier than a list of things I liked: 1. E. Coli, 2. Ear Infections, 3. Engine Troubles, 4. Eczema, 5. Economy at the moment, 6. Ear wigs, 7. Elections, 8. Energy bars, 9. Emergency Room, 10. English measurements (can we please use the metric system!!)).

So, if you have a secret fondness for memes and want to play along, just leave a comment and I will assign you a letter. Although, you will have to check back on the comments to find your letter, since that is where I will post it. You can write on your blog, or on Facebook. Let me know where, and I will find it and read it.

Because, really, that is my favorite part.

Finding Out

Monday, February 2, 2009

Every parent has thought it.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?!!"

It can be about anything.

For me, it pretty much started a week after I found out I was pregnant with my first. I had seen my mom be horrifically sick throughout her pregnancies. But I went into my first with enough naivety and optimism that it never crossed my mind that I too could be sick enough to not want people to talk about food around me.

On a nearly minutely basis I would wail, "Oh, why didn't anyone tell me how bad it would be?"

I said the same thing about the weight gain, the stretch marks, the ankle swelling, and the inability to sleep.

My mom would only say one thing. "Well, if I told you, would you have ever wanted to have kids?"

Parenthood is pretty much the same way. The crying, the (not)sleeping, the teething, potty-training, terrible twos, sibling rivalry.

Parents who've been through it just smile sympathetically at you as you stand over your child, who is face down and bawling on the floor of the cereal isle.

And we think, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

But thinking back, everyone did. Okay, no one took me aside, sat me down, and said "Look, this is how it is." (Maybe someone did that for you.) But there were the "Oh, just wait until's." The "Enjoy it while it lasts's." Any many other subtle hints about the difficulties ahead.

On the same note, no one ever tells you about the wonderful moments either.

The first time you feel your baby kick against the inside of your stomach. The bliss of reaching out your arms to hold your world just after he is born. The first smile, the first word, the silly games that he only plays with me. The happy twinge when they say "I love you and you are the best mom ever." The silly words and phrases. The signs of intelligence that make us sure that our child is a prodigy (admit it, we have all had that moment.)

And I think that we don't want anyone to tell us. Good or bad.

Having learned the ups and downs for ourselves makes us feel more proud of both surviving and enjoying. That we are navigating the oceans of parenthood by ourselves. We don't want to think of the difficulties as just run-of-the-mill. We don't want to think of the cute phrases and amazing landmarks as "typical" or "expected." We take pride in our work as parents.

And we want to take all the credit for the outcome.

Northanger Abbey

Sunday, February 1, 2009

This will be the last Jane Austen post for a while. I promise.

This book was the first of Jane Austen's that I've read where I haven't seen a movie or talked to anyone else who has read it beforehand.


And I have to say that I loved it.

Published post-humously, Northanger Abbey is very different that the rest of Austen's books. It is more witty and silly. Austen also refers to herself as the biographer several times throughout, which amused me almost more than anything.

The heroine (called this term throughout by Austen herself) is Catherine Morland. She is so unlike an Elizabeth, or Eleanor, or Anne. She is only 17 years old. One forum on the book said the "Catherine Morland is Jane Austen's only stupid main character."

I didn't find her stupid. She is young and naive. And while stupidity may be a fault, youth and naivety are a natural part of everyone's existence and an essential experience to becoming what Austen idealized: loving, intelligent, and slightly distrustful of those who seem "too good."

Northanger Abbey chronicles the very young Catherine as she leaves her family home in the country for the first time to travel with a family friend to the social haven of Bath. Here, she is met with balls, gowns, friendship, and above all, men. She also is introduced to the Gothic novels of the time, and becomes so enamored with the intrigue and horror found in them that she sees it all around her.

She soon learns that life is often just normal, and not full of the mystery found in her novels. She also finds that friendship can be fickle; men and women, despite all ideals and romantic notions, marry for money and rank; and that she, desperate to be the heroine of her own tale, is a normal, nearly inconsequential girl.

But still special enough to get her own happy ending.

Persuasion

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Still on my Austen kick, I gave her a chance to redeem herself after my disappointment in Emma.

I remember seeing the movie Persuasion a long time ago, before I had any established opinions about Jane Austen or her works.

Fortunately, it was such a long time ago that it didn't impact the effect of reading the book.

Persuasion is classic Jane Austen. Anne Elliott is exactly what Austen heroine should be: intelligent, modest, patient with those she loves, and willing to endure hardship for what she knows is right.

The book was decidedly sadder that her better known novels. The suffering that Anne endures because of her friends and family's influence over her is painful.

But equally rewarding is her ultimate happiness that comes at the end of the book, when she is rewarded for her consistency and endurance.

I wish that all things might end so happily.

They might, if I too had the patience to wait eight years for things to work themselves out.

Lost

Thursday, January 29, 2009

I feel that I have been a complete slacker, since it is over one week since the Lost premier and I haven't mentioned it!


(To be fair, I didn't watch the Lost premier last Wednesday, because I was out of town. I watched it Saturday with my husband, who, sweet guy, waited to watch it with me.)

I have three points that I would like to make.

One, I wish that I could tell you to start watching Lost. But I can't. You can't just start now, with this season and think that you will like it at all. You will have to do what I did. Rent all the previous seasons, and watch 4 episodes every single night for over a month. No, seriously, that's what I did. I hadn't watched any of Lost before March of last year. But a good friend kept telling me that it was exactly the type of show the my husband and I would like. So I broke down and rented the first season. And then pretty much didn't sleep for the next month.

Lost is strange like that. For those who have seen it since the beginning, it is the most amazing, complicated, exciting, mind-twisting show there is. But for those who missed a couple episodes, or a season, or who pick up with season 3 or now, it is just too confusing and weird.

Second point: This blog will NOT turn into a Lost recount and theory page. There are plenty of Lost theory pages I could contribute to and have discussions on. This will not be one of them. And as for recounting television shows on a blog. If you watch the show, you don't need a summary. And if you don't watch the show, you don't need a summary. (Seriously, would Jack, Locke, and Desmond mean anything to people who don't watch the show?) I stopped following a blog, because for over two weeks, the only thing the author wrote were summaries about MTV's The City. Don't watch it, don't care to. So stop giving me daily reports. Write about how you like it, or a funny story. But not the screen play. Please.

Last and final point. I really need DVR. I mean really. Which is kind of funny, since there are times I want to throw our television away (okay, not really, since it is so pretty, and I really like movies.) So here's the scenario. Lost is on at 8 pm. Bedtime at our house is at 8:30 pm. (Or sometimes 9, or 9:30, or um. No it's at 8:30). And because we still like to think of ourselves as good parents, bedtime takes priority over any TV show, Lost or otherwise. So we record it. Which means my husband has to set the VCR and we then watch it after the boys are in bed. On the VCR. Which means no HD. Occasionally grainy picture. Problems with the color and sound. And the always anxiety that my husband set the VCR wrong. If we had DVR, we could just watch whenever, without the silly VCR programming. And it could still be in all it's HD glory. And as our schedules are only getting busier, and we are home less, the case for the DVR is growing. I think I'm going to win this one.

Or maybe, the cable company with thwart my efforts and just put it on demand.

Resolutions

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I've been a little behind. Not just regarding posting here, but in things in general. And I suddenly realized that January is about to slip away.

And I realized that because I haven't posted any New Year's resolutions, people may think that I didn't make any. (It's still January, so the year is still new enough.)

I did make resolutions, but I'm hoping that actually writing them down will make them easier to keep.

So here it goes...

I will be softer. I will be gentler. I will yell less and listen more.

I will learn to bite my tongue. Just because something should be said doesn't mean that I have to be the one to say it.

I will complain less. I know that the year holds more difficulty ahead, but I did make the choices that lead to that. I will recognize my role in the difficulty and the role my complaining has on my family. I will do my best to minimize the latter and live up to the former.

I will be healthier. I will cook more meals at home, eat sugar less, take fewer second helpings. (Hopefully this year, more of the meals I make at home will actually appeal to the people living there.) I will try to have one fruit or vegetable at each meal. My boys like broccoli and spinach and nothing else. So I think those will work (That's a lot of spinach for one year though.)

I will stick to my exercise plan. I know that I feel better when I exercise, but I am always falling off the wagon. I'm great for the first two weeks, but, you know, something always comes up. Like my pillow. I will try to stick to it this year. I will try for 5 days a week, but at minimum do 3 days a week. (My goal with the last two resolutions is to lose 15 pounds by next Thanksgiving. I need to lose more, but by starting with 15 pounds this year, maybe it won't sound so overwhelming.)

I will take time to paint. I will paint at least one picture this year.

I will work on my sleep routine. I will try to go to be before midnight and wake up at a normal time, even on the weekends (but still reasonable. Don't expect me to be the one all wide-eyed and bushy-tailed at 7 am Sunday morning.)

I will plant a garden.

I will finish at least one of the scrapbook projects I have started. Maybe the planets will align and all four will get done. But I'm only promising one.

I will continue to kiss my children before I go to sleep, even if they have been asleep for hours.

I will continue to make snuggling, hugs, kisses, and silly songs part of our daily routine.

I will try to make a new friend and invite them over to my house. (This one is probably the most difficult one for me.) But especially as I may be moving to finish my medical training, I don't want my family living like hermits any more.

While I know that there are thousands of other things I could choose to work on this year, I'm pretty sure that this will keep me plenty busy. I made sure my list wasn't too long, so there will be plenty of things to work on in the coming years.